We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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