3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
