I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize