I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
