She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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