too bad you live with your parents still
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
