Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
