Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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