After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
