a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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