my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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