ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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