Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
