I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
