it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
