K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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