I need help removing her.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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