Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
