the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
