Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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