dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
