That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
