i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
