Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
