Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I AM VODKA MAN
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
