i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
