Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
