nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
