Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
