i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
