i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
