She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
