I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do vagina's smell?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
