Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
