CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
