Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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