i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
