hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
