Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
