It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
