It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
