There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
