Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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