We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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