This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
