We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
