She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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