It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And then my night got REAL pukey
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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