she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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