I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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