i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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