My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
