i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
do nipples grow back?
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