we have officially lost it.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
